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BH Moments - Season 1

That famous opening scene in 'A Woman's Place' ... Maggie scrubs the 4WD ... at the Imperial ... PJ and Nick

# Shortcut Links #

'A Woman's Place' (# 1)

On the road to Mt Thomas

We see a red car driving down a road, past a sign reading "Mt Thomas 7". Then we see Nick and PJ stationed on the side of the road, further down.  PJ looks up the road through a pair of binoculars and sees that it's a female driver (Maggie) coming down the road.

PJ: I'll er, I'll take this one Nick.
Nick: Well make sure she's not married this time, mate.

Maggie arrives in her car and PJ indicates for her to pull over, which she does.

PJ: Good afternoon.
Maggie: Good afternoon.
PJ: Blow in the tube, please miss.
Maggie: Since when did detectives mix with highway patrol?
PJ: Well who says I'm a detective?
Maggie: Where I come from, uniforms don't mix much with plain clothes.  (She blows in the tube)
PJ: Ah, looks like we got a police groupie here Nick.  Might have to discuss it with her over a cup of coffee.

Maggie puts her hand to her face, shakes her head and laughs to herself.

PJ: (looks at the breathalyser)  Yep, you're all clear miss.  (He leans against the car)  I'm, er, I'm PJ.

Maggie flips out her police badge with a broad smile.

Maggie: Constable Maggie Doyle.  And ... who am I talking to?
PJ: (taken aback)  Er, Detective Senior Constable PJ Hasham.  Sorry er, Constable, I thought you were a girl...  (Maggie *looks* at him) ... nah, a woman ... uh, uh you know what I mean.

Maggie's like, "Yeahhh".

PJ: (indicates to Nick)  This is Senior Constable Nick Schultz ... Constable Maggie Doyle.
Nick: (nods to Maggie, then looks back at the road)  White van. We'll have him.  (He walks off)
PJ:  You, er, staying in the pub tonight?
Maggie: Uh-huh.
PJ: I'll buy you a drink tonight, heh?
Maggie: (smiling)  We'll see.  (She steers to drive away)

PJ stands there and watches her drive off with a satisfied grin on his face.
* * * * * *

At the Imperial

(Earlier, Maggie had mentioned to Chris about how usually, on a constable's first night in town, the other officers like to get them drunk.  Chris had smiled and said, "You amaze me.")

Maggie is sitting at a table.  Chris comes over with a tray.

Chris: One steak and spag-bowl.  (She looks up and sees PJ and Nick as they walk in.)  And ... two more of the same?
PJ:  Yeah, thanks Chris.  (They walk over to Maggie's table.)  Settling in, are we Constable Doyle?
Maggie:  It's — PJ and ... Nick.

PJ and Nick sit down.

PJ: Excellent memory for names here, Nick.  This woman is a born investigator.  (Calls to Chris)  Ah Chris, we'll have a couple of beers here, thanks.  And Maggie will have...
Maggie: Mineral water, thanks.
PJ: (chuckles)  Not on your first night, girlie.
Maggie: Girlie?  (pause)  We'll have a vodka.  Rocks.
Chris:  Coming up.
Nick: Where were you last, Maggie?
Maggie: City.  Western Suburbs.
PJ: Well, you'll find it's extra quiet here then, but ... we manage to make our own fun.
Maggie: Ah-huh.

Chris comes over with the drinks.

(All round): Thanks Chris.
PJ: So!  Here's to it!

They raise their glases and Maggie downs her drink in one gulp.  Nick and PJ stare at her in amazement.

Maggie: (acting perfectly normal)  Mmm. Thirsty day.
PJ: Ah ... we'll be ready for another one real soon here, Chrissy.

(Shot cuts to more drinks arriving.)

Maggie: Mine.
PJ: You mean it doesn't pay?  (They raise their glasses)  Here's to it!

Maggie downs her drink in one go once again, and Nick and PJ look at each other.  Maggie grins and says "Aahhh", as if to say, "*That* was nothing — got anymore, boys?"   Camera cuts to the three of them at the bar, with Maggie downing yet another drink, and Nick counting through his remaining change.

Maggie: (taking her wallet)  Back in a minute.

PJ is thinking "What the...?" He lifts the glass that Maggie just drank from, sniffs it, and looks at Nick.

PJ: We're ready for another round here thanks, Chris.  (Chris comes to take the glass but PJ holds it back.)   Oh and Chrissy — if I taste that vodka and find out you've been serving us *vodka* at *water* prices, then that'll be a breach of the Licensing Act, and I'm going to be very cross.   So make it a treble hey?  (He grins)

Chris takes the glass with a small smile and pours vodka into it.  Maggie returns.

Maggie: Real fun town, this.
PJ: Yes, yes it is.  So ... cheers!
Maggie: Cheers.

Maggie takes a gulp, realises that it's not water and suddenly spits it out, spraying it all over PJ!!  Nick and Chris burst out laughing.

PJ: (puts up his hands)  Aye yiy yiy!!
Maggie: (laughing)  Sorry PJ!!
PJ: (grins)  You're gonna get yours missy, you are gonna get yours.
Maggie: (laughs)  Just doing what you told me, making my own fun!  (Takes a sip of the vodka)  I think I'd better make this my last!
* * * * * *

Morning in Mt Thomas

Maggie steps out of the Imperial in her police uniform, smartly dressed for her first official day as a copper in Mt Thomas.  As she walks past two men leaning against a car, one of them whistles loudly.  She stops, then turns and looks at them.

Maggie: Something I can do for you, gentlemen?
Bloke: Probably.  (His mate grins at him)
Maggie: Your vehicle, sir?  (She walks over to their car)
Bloke: (surprised)  Yeah?

Maggie smiles to herself as she steps over to the front wheel, takes out a booklet, and places it against the tyre.

Maggie: Bald tyre.
Bloke: Oh, fair go, luv!
Maggie: You have twenty-four hours to rectify and report.  (She smiles)  Have a good day, sir.  (She strides off)
Bloke: Bloody Blue Heelers!

'Old Dogs, New Tricks' (# 33)

At the Imperial

Nick, Wayne, PJ and Maggie have been discussing a case concerning the residents of a nearby retirement home.

Maggie: I can't imagine being really old.
PJ: Oh, I can, I just look in the mirror after a heavy night.
Nick: It's not being old that's the thing, I reckon it's being dependent on everyone else.
PJ: Yep, well I want to die in bed.
Wayne: Yeah but whose?  (Nick chuckles)
PJ: Mine!  (Half-sarcastically)  With a loving wife beside me.
Nick: Yeah but whose?  (Wayne laughs)
PJ: Listen mate, the only reason I play the field is to —
Nick: Here we go.
PJ: ... meet the woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.
Wayne: Yeah, that's what we all say isn't it.

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